I bounced the idea off of Sarah, thinking she would say "no way," but she was actually really excited about this opportunity for me to get away and have a solo retreat.
So I am now on my 4 day solo retreat.
I am a little over halfway through now and as soon as I stopped thinking about what I "should" be doing, I started enjoying this time and space. My mom's house is so tidy and has so much order. It really contrasts my life which feels like nothing is tidy and order is not really a thing.
Being alone like this also creates space for me to get inside my head and heart. I fill my life with so much noise so this silence is almost frightening. In one of my recent songs "See Your Love again," I wrote that "I have always just believed, that you were watching over me" and that is true for me. I have always had the sense that God is watching over me and really cares about me. It gives me a sense of peace to know this, and yet when I am alone with God (like this) I sometimes forget how to engage in relationship with Him. Which is what I think He wants most from me. To love Him/Her and love my neighbour. To just "hang out" in the presence of a God who is both creator and friend. Thinking about this right now is blowing my mind a bit.
I'm not sure what I am supposed to take away from this time, but I am once again convinced that everyone (even extroverts like me) need to have this type of retreat as a part of their regular rhythm.
Perhaps it will look quite different for you, but I would encourage you to get something like this on your calendar now and stick to it. You won't regret that you did.
